Half of my Father's Day Sunday was burnt because I had to attend a Family Day that my centre held this morning. Fortunately, the weather was beautiful. I really wished that I was sitting by the beach instead of being involved in the event. Sighs. Anyways, It's over. But there is one thing that bothered me till now.
Frankly, this thing has been on my mind for a very long time but it's just now that I bothered to analyze it. I feel like people cannot stand my face when they look at me. No, this has nothing to do with my confidence. I am sure of it. I may not be someone who has oozes confidence but I do have faith in myself. So confidence is definitely out. Why do I say this? I mean, I'm bothered because people react quite negatively when they see me. I don't know. It's just that feeling I get. And no, I am NOT being paranoid!
I told Mak about this. She advised me to do dzikir and to constantly recite this particular prayer that Mak Noi gave us. And it's true, you know. My mother always recite the prayer that she recommended me and it worked on her. Wherever she goes, people will just naturally smile at her. So much so that Bapa and Mak Noi always asked if she know the particular person whom she just smiled at. Hmmmm......It's about time, Liza
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Thursday, June 9, 2005
Personality Tests
Aliza, when it comes to dating, you're a Social Realist.
You're comfortable in social situations that fluster other people. It is in part this ease is that makes you a catch for potential partners. You like to take time to really get to know the people in your life, especially your romantic partner. Your challenge is to make sure that you get what you want out of the time and energy you've invested.
It is somewhat true. Personality tests like these are cool and the things they derive from the questions you answer can sometimes be bloody accurate. However, I get quite skeptical knowing the fact that the analysis are probably computer generated. I cannot be measured by a machine. Can I?
You're comfortable in social situations that fluster other people. It is in part this ease is that makes you a catch for potential partners. You like to take time to really get to know the people in your life, especially your romantic partner. Your challenge is to make sure that you get what you want out of the time and energy you've invested.
It is somewhat true. Personality tests like these are cool and the things they derive from the questions you answer can sometimes be bloody accurate. However, I get quite skeptical knowing the fact that the analysis are probably computer generated. I cannot be measured by a machine. Can I?
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
Almost famous
I received a phonecall from MediaCorp today for a supporting role in a docu-drama. Guess what my character would be? A maid! Muahahahahahahahaha...But hey, I am not complaining. I seriously have no problem doing it but I definitely do not have the time. I was required to do shoots for a total of 4 days and all the days are weekdays. I really would like to do it but I cannot take anymnore leaves considering that I just started working at my current centre, It can really get on your nerves sometimes. I have the opportunities but I just do not have the time. Do I really need to brush up on my time management skills?
To cover or not to cover
Muslims girls who wear "tudung". Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely NOTHING against them. However, I just cannot stand it when they wear tudung and use chains on the side pockets, wear tonnes of makeup and shave their eyebrows. I do not claim to be the pious one here but what is the use of covering yourself up when you do all those things? Some of them are even worse. They wear tudung to jamming sessions and gigs at Youth Park. Gigs! I mean, the bands there play music that contain vulgarities! It just does not make sense. If you want to wear it, do it properly. One last thing that I cannot stand with tudung girls is when they just cannot part from their boyfriends. They will be all over the lads in public. Don;t they know in actual fact, Muslims girls are not allowed to even mix with the men? What's more, they are wearing tudung! Masya ALLAH.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
You sure you need that?
I was just watching TV yesterday and as usual, there were tonnes of advertisements. That was when I decided to create this post. A particular facial solution promised beautiful,flawless, perfect,baby soft skin. Guess who the models were? Jessica Simpson, Elle Macpherson and Britney Spears. I was just wondering. Don't these celebrities ALREADY have beautiful,flawless, perfect,baby soft skin?
Another product came to mind. This time, a slimming product. Who might be the spokesperson be? FANN WONG! HAH! What a joke! It's like you can go sick just by looking at the smile on her face when she says she lost 3kg in just a few months (or was it weeks?) A load of rubbish! Isn;t Fann Wong stick-thin, I mean slim, in the first place? So how can we the potential users determine whether the darn product really worked?
These people are basically celebrities who have personal stylists at their beck and call. These professional stylist can just hide or even "erase" a zit on the spot. I mean, they are defitnitely the worst proofs of the products capability.
Why don't these suppliers get real people with real skin problems and experiment on them rather than hiring some already-beautiful celebrities to model their products?
Like that slimming product featuring Zoe Tay's so-called rival. Why don't it feature that Chinese actress ( that Aiyoyo lady) and have her use it and see if it really works? I'm not criticising her or anything but if she can really lose weight by consuming the product ( and managed to stay healthy at the same time) then probably it's worth buying.
Another product came to mind. This time, a slimming product. Who might be the spokesperson be? FANN WONG! HAH! What a joke! It's like you can go sick just by looking at the smile on her face when she says she lost 3kg in just a few months (or was it weeks?) A load of rubbish! Isn;t Fann Wong stick-thin, I mean slim, in the first place? So how can we the potential users determine whether the darn product really worked?
These people are basically celebrities who have personal stylists at their beck and call. These professional stylist can just hide or even "erase" a zit on the spot. I mean, they are defitnitely the worst proofs of the products capability.
Why don't these suppliers get real people with real skin problems and experiment on them rather than hiring some already-beautiful celebrities to model their products?
Like that slimming product featuring Zoe Tay's so-called rival. Why don't it feature that Chinese actress ( that Aiyoyo lady) and have her use it and see if it really works? I'm not criticising her or anything but if she can really lose weight by consuming the product ( and managed to stay healthy at the same time) then probably it's worth buying.
Sunday, June 5, 2005
Reunion with the boyz
I am so glad I went online earlier today. Guess who I meet up with? HAIZAM! He was my secondary schoolmate. We used to be in the same class while in Yishun Town Secondary School If that is not enough a bonus, Helmi was also there and so was Raihan. All the maniacs! Hahahahahaha....I was dead happy. What a reunion! (Well, kind of.)
We chatted for quite a bit until each one of them had to go and live their lives.
I did not realize that it has been 6 years since we last met. (Thanks, Helmi!) Each one of us has grown up in our own beautiful ways. I could not contain my happiness. I learnt some new things about my old friends as well. (Haizam & Helmi, you should know what I mean. Notti,notti) There was also one shocking confession from one of them. Hahahahahaha...
High school was not THAT easy for me. I always wanted to fit in but I just could not. I was never really one of the coooool ones. I do not posses model features, was a tomboy,talk too much,was fat (still am. Hehehe) don't play in a band and cannot sing.I was basically a nobody. I tried very hard to fit in but I never could. Sighs. But somehow, I enjoyed those days. A case of when love and hate collides, yeah? I don't know.
I miss those days when I would (sometimes) go jamming with them.Hahahahahaha....But of course, I would just sit down there and do nothing. At that time, I wanted so badly to get Imran's attention. Hahahahahaha...What a fool. Puppy love. (Hey Imran, what's up, bro)
I did not realise that anyone would watch THAT particular episode of TRUE COURAGE. Hahahahaha...Both of them actually saw it! Hahahahahahaha...But I really enjoyed acting in that show, eventhough it was just for one small scene. Hopefully, I could get more acting offers? Hehehehe
Hey, Helmi & Haizam, I seriously hope that the reunion you guys had in mind will happen. I am really looking forward to it. Okok, no VIPs. I'll try and fit in a time slot to help you guys out with the preparations in my very busy schedule, okay? Kwang 3x.
What a great way to end my weekend.
We chatted for quite a bit until each one of them had to go and live their lives.
I did not realize that it has been 6 years since we last met. (Thanks, Helmi!) Each one of us has grown up in our own beautiful ways. I could not contain my happiness. I learnt some new things about my old friends as well. (Haizam & Helmi, you should know what I mean. Notti,notti) There was also one shocking confession from one of them. Hahahahahaha...
High school was not THAT easy for me. I always wanted to fit in but I just could not. I was never really one of the coooool ones. I do not posses model features, was a tomboy,talk too much,was fat (still am. Hehehe) don't play in a band and cannot sing.I was basically a nobody. I tried very hard to fit in but I never could. Sighs. But somehow, I enjoyed those days. A case of when love and hate collides, yeah? I don't know.
I miss those days when I would (sometimes) go jamming with them.Hahahahahaha....But of course, I would just sit down there and do nothing. At that time, I wanted so badly to get Imran's attention. Hahahahahaha...What a fool. Puppy love. (Hey Imran, what's up, bro)
I did not realise that anyone would watch THAT particular episode of TRUE COURAGE. Hahahahaha...Both of them actually saw it! Hahahahahahaha...But I really enjoyed acting in that show, eventhough it was just for one small scene. Hopefully, I could get more acting offers? Hehehehe
Hey, Helmi & Haizam, I seriously hope that the reunion you guys had in mind will happen. I am really looking forward to it. Okok, no VIPs. I'll try and fit in a time slot to help you guys out with the preparations in my very busy schedule, okay? Kwang 3x.
What a great way to end my weekend.
Can never stick to one
ARGH!I'm tired of editing my blogskin. There is just too much work. Do you know that I have been in front of this PC since 12pm today??I have been in fron t of my PC for 6 bloody hours! Shesh!
I guess that's the retribution for being so fickle.
I guess that's the retribution for being so fickle.
Saturday, June 4, 2005
Untitled
Dearest S_L,
Thank you so much for all the great songs you got me! Hahahaha...
I don't know. I always feel so horrible when I talk to you. Don't get me wrong. It is not about you. It's me. I am sorry we are just friends and not more than that. Maybe I'm just hallucinating but I could feel the sincerity and purity of the feelings you harbour towards me. I am not sure if you still have them but you are one of the reasons why I feel so blessed and I slap myself when self-destruction seemed to be the only way to make me feel better about myself. As much as I want to be happy for friends and family members who have went on to build lives with their dream partners, I still do feel a little sad and just plain pathetic. Sometimes, I feel like I can never find 'DA ONE', you know. Like there could be no man in this world who could ever appreciate me for who I really am. Someone who can see me without any masks. Then I saw the email you sent me. I still have it and I intend to keep safely in my hotmail inbox. And it struck me, someone did appreciate me! Why didn't I see that before?I may not be able to reciprocate the feelings you have for me in the same way but I DO care about you, too. Thank, S_L. You don't know the value of the email you sent me. I can never thank you enough. You saw me at my best and my worst and you accepted it all. No questions asked.
One thing though, I hope you will one day be able to see why I feel so strongly about my religion. I pray that you too will be able to embrace and feel the beauty and serenity of Islam .
I am not sure of who my life partner will be. But I just want you to know, that you will always have a place in my heart and I really do appreciate you. Hopefully, there will come a time when you will be able to read this entry of mine. I don't think I can ever have the courage to tell you this face-to-face. So there. Have a nice life, S_L.
With love,
Lizzie
Thank you so much for all the great songs you got me! Hahahaha...
I don't know. I always feel so horrible when I talk to you. Don't get me wrong. It is not about you. It's me. I am sorry we are just friends and not more than that. Maybe I'm just hallucinating but I could feel the sincerity and purity of the feelings you harbour towards me. I am not sure if you still have them but you are one of the reasons why I feel so blessed and I slap myself when self-destruction seemed to be the only way to make me feel better about myself. As much as I want to be happy for friends and family members who have went on to build lives with their dream partners, I still do feel a little sad and just plain pathetic. Sometimes, I feel like I can never find 'DA ONE', you know. Like there could be no man in this world who could ever appreciate me for who I really am. Someone who can see me without any masks. Then I saw the email you sent me. I still have it and I intend to keep safely in my hotmail inbox. And it struck me, someone did appreciate me! Why didn't I see that before?I may not be able to reciprocate the feelings you have for me in the same way but I DO care about you, too. Thank, S_L. You don't know the value of the email you sent me. I can never thank you enough. You saw me at my best and my worst and you accepted it all. No questions asked.
One thing though, I hope you will one day be able to see why I feel so strongly about my religion. I pray that you too will be able to embrace and feel the beauty and serenity of Islam .
I am not sure of who my life partner will be. But I just want you to know, that you will always have a place in my heart and I really do appreciate you. Hopefully, there will come a time when you will be able to read this entry of mine. I don't think I can ever have the courage to tell you this face-to-face. So there. Have a nice life, S_L.
With love,
Lizzie
Trapped
Abang came just now to collect the dish Mak cooked yesterday. We talked for a bit before he went off.
He was telling me about the situation at the previous company. Same old stories. I don't know, I feel very emotional whenever anyone talk about that company. Don't get me wrong. I have never regret quitting from there. I don't know. I guess it's the fact that the company was the very first one that I worked for. Eventhough I was there for only one year and a few months, there were a lot of things that I went through there that contributed tremendously to my growth.
I absolutely know the feeling of being trapped in a situation. It's like you cannot breathe, it was suffocating your personal growth. You have no confidence in life and everything was just worthless. Unsupportive people in your surroundings just makes matters worse. But alhamdullillah, I got out of it. I may not be exactly where I would like to be now but I strongly believe that I made the right decision to go into teaching because this is my calling.
Should there be anyone out there who is feeling trapped in a situation (be it a relationship, a job etc), keep on believing in yourself. Age is just a number. Never ever let it hinder you from trying out new things. Things that were once beyond your imaginations. You can do it!
He was telling me about the situation at the previous company. Same old stories. I don't know, I feel very emotional whenever anyone talk about that company. Don't get me wrong. I have never regret quitting from there. I don't know. I guess it's the fact that the company was the very first one that I worked for. Eventhough I was there for only one year and a few months, there were a lot of things that I went through there that contributed tremendously to my growth.
I absolutely know the feeling of being trapped in a situation. It's like you cannot breathe, it was suffocating your personal growth. You have no confidence in life and everything was just worthless. Unsupportive people in your surroundings just makes matters worse. But alhamdullillah, I got out of it. I may not be exactly where I would like to be now but I strongly believe that I made the right decision to go into teaching because this is my calling.
Should there be anyone out there who is feeling trapped in a situation (be it a relationship, a job etc), keep on believing in yourself. Age is just a number. Never ever let it hinder you from trying out new things. Things that were once beyond your imaginations. You can do it!
Friday, June 3, 2005
Way toooooooo heavy....
It's been donkey years since I last posted entries. I wanted to write so badly but my eyes are just failing on me. They are feeling so heavy....
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz.........
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz.........
RUDE SERVICE
After work today, Aiza wanted me to accompany to go see an Indonesian lady friend of hers at this hotel somewhere in town that start with the letter 'Y'. We went and had a pretty tough time finding the hotel. When we finally found it, we faced another problem which was to find the room. We went up the nearest lift but there was no room '217'. Hahahaha..and you should have seen how panicky Aiza was when she got stuck in between the lift doors. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...Such a comic relief! (Aiza, you know I got love for you, right? Peace)
Anyways, we got out of the lift and I decided to go up to the counter and ask for help. There was this Chinese lady who was attending to a Caucasian couple. I called her twice but she did not utter a single reply. I mean, is she was really busy, she could hvae at least turn to me and tell me to wait for a moment while she finishes her previous stuff. But there was absolutely no reply. When the third calling came, she replied in a raised voice, "HANG ON A MOMENT!"
WHAT THE FUCK! Bloody bitch!
This is the kind of service a fine hotel situated at the heart of Singapore is giving out to their customers?!?! I was just so annoyed. I could actually smakc that bitch's face right there and then. But ARGH! I am just so stoink sometimes. I wanted so badly to give a her a piece of my mind. But I did NOTHING! Can you believe it? I did NOTHING! I don't like to stir up trouble like that. I know that if I were to say something to her, good things would NOT be coming out of my mouth.
But seriously, it was such a dissapointment. I mean, if she was suffering from PMS or had a fight with the boyfriend or whatever, who fucking cares. Be professional enough to leave your personal problems at home and give the kind of service we deserve. FYI, we pay to stay in the hotels. It's not like we are staying there for free. Bloody sick, I tell you.
Anyways, we got out of the lift and I decided to go up to the counter and ask for help. There was this Chinese lady who was attending to a Caucasian couple. I called her twice but she did not utter a single reply. I mean, is she was really busy, she could hvae at least turn to me and tell me to wait for a moment while she finishes her previous stuff. But there was absolutely no reply. When the third calling came, she replied in a raised voice, "HANG ON A MOMENT!"
WHAT THE FUCK! Bloody bitch!
This is the kind of service a fine hotel situated at the heart of Singapore is giving out to their customers?!?! I was just so annoyed. I could actually smakc that bitch's face right there and then. But ARGH! I am just so stoink sometimes. I wanted so badly to give a her a piece of my mind. But I did NOTHING! Can you believe it? I did NOTHING! I don't like to stir up trouble like that. I know that if I were to say something to her, good things would NOT be coming out of my mouth.
But seriously, it was such a dissapointment. I mean, if she was suffering from PMS or had a fight with the boyfriend or whatever, who fucking cares. Be professional enough to leave your personal problems at home and give the kind of service we deserve. FYI, we pay to stay in the hotels. It's not like we are staying there for free. Bloody sick, I tell you.
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