Please, let this be a joke.

I could not sleep the whole night. Selwyn popped in my mind the moment I woke up till the time I was in the hospital to visit him. Walking through the ICU ward brings back horrible memories of what my family went through a few years back. Back then, I told myself that I do not ever want to step foot in that wretched place no more. But there I was again. This time another loved one - a very good friend of mine. I was not prepared for what was to come. I thought I was strong but I broke down again when I stood outside Sel's cubicle. It was too much! I couldn't bear to see dear old Sel helpless there with all that stupid stuff around him. I couldn't take it!

It's not fair! It shouldn't be Sel. It's someone else. But I took a deep breath and went into his cubicle anyways. I broke down again. I broke down each time I tried to speak.

The moment I looked at his face, all the images of him pulling his signature spastic look and all the crazy antics he would pull came to my mind. It was like I wasn't looking at him but at someone I don't even recognise.

Someone, please tell mee this is a joke. I don't mind being laughed at. Laugh at me all you want but please let this be a joke and not reality. Please