But then again, there's always 2 sides to a coin.
For a while, I was tempted to have Mak care for Fayrah while I'm at work - at least she will be with someone I trust.
Crazy thoughts kept going through my mind and I began to imagine ridiculous things that might have taken place.
It was pretty stressful for a good 2 days - before DaHubster finally made me realise that I was simply over-reacting.
(Hate to admit it but)He was right.
When we first registered Fayrah at the childcare centre, I was so protective of her - that if I was her infant teacher, I would have probably given myself a slap. Heh..
It didn't help too that she cried for about a week and a half.
Though the separation anxiety was expected, I was still so protective.
But 1 year on, I am finally "letting go".
I am finally seeing how much my darling daughter loves school.
She loves her friends and most importantly, her teachers.
DaHubster and I constantly ask her about her teachers.
Some call it spying - we call it getting to know your children.
And the amazing thing about children is that - they are blardy HONEST!
If they don't like you, they are not going to hide it - they will tell you as it is.
That's the beauty of their innocence.
The progress Fayrah has made from her first day at infant care till today is simply amazing.
Though she still doesn't warm up to people immediately but that's just her personality.
I have finally come to terms that it has nothing to do with her confidence.
The experience she goes through everyday in school is something that I can't give her.
Yes, there can be playdates but how often can she go for them?
Everyday?
Every other day?
Her ability to listen to and follow instructions (most of the time, at least) is 1 of the many experiences she will never get if she is being cared by me or her grandparents.
I hate it when others "sympathise" at how my daughter has to be put in childcare at such a young age.
For a little while, I actually agreed with them but now...I simply sympathise them.
Friends who decide to stay home to care fore their children question as to how I can allow "a stranger" to look after Fayrah.
For a little while, I questioned myself too but now...I simply answer "Why not?"
Despite being in a childcare centre, we have never felt like we neglected our first born nor does Fayrah acts as if she feels unloved.
We spend weekends and holidays together and tell her we love her EVERYDAY and EVERY NIGHT.
So for those who sympathise with children that go to childcare while their parents work, I say "Don't waste your time."
I pray for her safety everyday and truth be told, for how long can we protect our children by keeping them in this safe bubble that we create?
Some friends say that they will only register their children school once the child turns 3 years old because at least, at that age, they can speak if something is bothering them.
Can they?
Will they?
What guarantee is there that the child will have the confidence to speak his/her mind at 3, 4 or even 5 years old?
Our goal in sending Fayrah to school is to build her confidence because DaHubster and I know that we can't protect her ALL THE TIME.
But if she knows in her heart that she has the power to control her destiny, her life, her future, then she can accomplish anything.
No human can take that POWER away from her.
Such great things for a young heart to learn but I pray that she be granted that confidence and faith in The Almighty and herself so she knows she can do anything she sets her mind to.
Ibu and Ayah love you, Fayrah.
So does Adik.
Oh yes, God willing, Fayrah will be having a sibling...soon.
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