Tuesday, April 10, 2012

First day of school

I used to laugh at mothers who would get emotional on their children's first day of school.

I would joke about it even.

But now the joke's on me!

I had tears in eyes on the first day DaHubster and I sent Fayrah to childcare.

My "maternal protective instinct" (Is there such a word?) kicked in instanteneously.

I'm not sure if most mums would feel the same way but at that point of time, I felt helpless.

Mainly because at the back of my mind, I know that I can't keep her under my wing forever.

What if she gets bullied in school?

What if nobody wants to be her friend?

What if the other children were nasty to her?

What if..?

What if...?

What if...?

I started to ask a lot of what if questions which was obviously not helpful in such an emotional situation.

They just made me more upset than ever.

So the first two days DaHubster and I stayed for about an hour before we sneaked out.

On the third day, we decided that it was best to "send and go".

That was just what we did.

When we reached the centre, we said our goodbyes to her and off we went.

Fayrah obviously was not happy.

And she expressed it through her loud cries.

It was so heart-wrenching for us - me especially.

At that moment, I wondered if she would hate me for sending her to the centre.

Though difficult, I know that doing so will (hopefully) mean that she will be to adapt quicker to being in the childcare centre.

I wonder if all parents experience the same emotions.

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