Thursday, July 31, 2008

Even superheroes bleed.

I have been battling with weight problems all my life.

When I was younger, I felt overshadowed by my sister's lean frame.

Now, even after losing 10 kgs with no medication or slimming programs, I still feel overweight.

Yeah, my weight fluctuates every now and then.

I mean, no surprise there.

There are countless times where I went overboard with my "occassional" treats.

The numbers still go up by one (or two) and down the same way.

No matter what, I noticed that I will always end up at my happy weight.


I am thankful.


MyBabyLuv don't see the need to reduce those numbers. (Alhamdullillah)

And I agree with him - sometimes.

Yeah, I hear you.

I should stop harping on my weight.

But I cannot deny the fact that I DO care about my weight.

I have lived the life of an overweight woman and I do NOT wish to go down that road again.


You may find it as an excuse but it is very hard for me to think of myself other than what I know myself to be.

I may have shed the pounds (and my physique as the core evidence) but I still look at myself as what I was before when I look in the mirror.


Strange, huh?

Humans are never satisfied with ALLAH's blessings.

I choose NOT to see this as a problem but more of a challenge.

The mind is extremely powerful.

It can work to your advantage but it can also destroy you.

As silly as this may sound, I feel the need to focus and train my mind and vision to perceive myself as how my loved ones do.

They see me as someone who is determined and mentally strong. Someone who knows what she wants and will go all out to get it while still praying to the one Supreme Being that will make it all happen. Someone who is cheerful and bubbly and loves to see the positivity in life. Someone who is neither overweight nor underweight. Someone who weighs just right.

How liberating that sounds.

Why was I so blind?

Without the past, there is no future, right?

ALLAH showed me the rewards of having faith in HIM as well as the power of determination by letting me went through the "transformation".

Why was I so blind?

ALLAh created us perfect but we make out who we want to be.

And I want to be satisfied.

Satisfied with my achievements and my physique - small, medium or large.

I want to be satisfied with that - and believe it.

India Arie - Beautiful Flower

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