And then Adik grows

People are asking why the sudden change in me. They are glad though that I am finally becoming a woman and growing up gracefully. They asked if it's because of anyone in particular. I say to them, "Yes. It's because of someone, actually." When asked who, I answered, "Me, of course." Then their shoulders dropped and they sighed. Hehehehehehehe...

I have to be frank. Initially, the main objective of these changes was to please someone but that backfired. The motivation lasted very short. I was not able to stay inspired for long. I always slackened after a while. Then I did some soul-searching (and of course, plus the "hammerings" from the loved ones surrounding me), I decided the changes had to be for myself.

People come and go as they wish. But you must stay true to yourself. I can't afford to abandon myself when I need me the most. I find flaws in me. Of course, we all have flaws. But my flaws can be minimised if I just choose to change - for the better. I am capable of so much more. It was just that I was over-protected (feeling-feeling Britney). The constant protection didn't allow opportunites for me to grow much. But bless my family and my loved ones for pampering me. I love them to bits for they were there for me the whole time and will be for many more in the future. But I need to get out of my shell. Let me be smacked down and thrown upwards. I will get up and survive. Insya ALLAH. But I need to change. I need to grow on my own.

I will be stepping into my mid-20s this year. Last Friday, my mind was stuck at the age of 18. I woke almost everyday thinking that I have to attend lectures and tutorials. I was always a student. But today, I woke up a lady. I woke up with today's agenda on my mind :-

i) Take a bath
ii) Iron clothes for work starts tomorrow
iii) Wash the dishes that are piling up
iv) Clean the house while Mak goes to market
v) Wash the toilet etc etc etc.