I made a choice today

I am melancholic. I truly am. What a way to start the morning. It feels like nothing can cheer me up - not even the chirpiest song. My ears seems to pick up sounds that send the same sort of vibe. It's sick. To be melancholic that is. But I need to. Sometimes, I feel tired to have to be happy. About being not loved by a Mr-Mr (which currently is no one in particular. It is even more sad than it already is.) At times, it is easier to be depressed. Why is it so tiring? Why is it such a chore to have to keep your spirits? Why is a burden to be optimistic and look at the brighter side of things? Why? Why? Why?

Some might say that it's because I try too hard. Try so hard to be happy. Well, at least I try, right? Shouldn't I be given credit for that? Maybe not. Some suggest that I should identify the root of my depression. What is it that is making me feeling so down and under like this? What? What? What?

Okay, here goes. Upon reading this, some might laugh. Some might think of me as pathetic. Some might even take this opportunity to bring me down even further (I dare you to do that. You will not like being you when I'm up again, if you choose to take up my challenge.) Whatever! I need it out of my system. I need it to be taken out and thrown into the Red Sea. Down, down into the abyss.

I AM JEALOUS!

JEALOUS!

JEALOUS!

JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO WILL BE GUARANTEED OF THE SUPPORT FROM THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER IN WHATEVER THEY DO!

JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO HAVE THE ABILITY TO HOLD THE HAND OF THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHILE WALKING DOWN THE STREET WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD!

I AM JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO HAVE FOUND THE LOVE OF ONE WHO WILL LOVE THEM NO MATTER HOW THEY LOOK!

I AM JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO LOOK LIKE FUCK BUT IS STILL ABLE TO BE LOVED BY THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

I AM JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO LOOKED FOR THAT SOMEONE AND FOUND THEM!

I AM JEALOUS OF THOSE WHO NEVER SET OUT LOOKING FOR THAT SOMEONE BUT IS STILL ABLE TO FIND THEM!

I AM JEALOUS OF YOU FUCKS!

I AM JEALOUS OF THE LADIES WHO GET ALL DRESSED UP WHEN THEY GO OUT AND HAVE MEN SWOONING OVER THEM!

I AM JEALOUS OF LADIES WHO DON'T DRESS UP AND STILL HAVE MEN SWOONING OVER THEM!

JEALOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SO FUCKING JEALOUS!

There I said. Now let me wallow in self-pity.