Sunday, April 9, 2006

Ready or not

Some time back, a person I know gave his opinion on the unfairness of being with someone else (after a break-up) when the other is not ready. At that point of time, I agreed (your brain just stops working at 4am ).

However, I think differently now (okay, so I'm slow). When is anyone ever really ready? 10 or even 20 years after a break-up? I used to think that the ladies have it the hardest during separation. But do you know that the ratio of men to women who committed suicide due to heart-breaks are 3 to 1? This has been scientifically proven (information courtesy of Dato' Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah). Despite their ego, men are hit the hardest during separation. My theory was so wrong. Yes, letting go is never easy - especially if it's someone you care, someone you love. I know it from personal experience. In fact, I am still nursing this little heart of mine and the incident took place (close to) 3 years ago. This is not to say that I regret the decision I made back then but my heart still ache - even till today. Nonetheless, I am learning to love again. Personally, I think loving and caring for another somehow helps in the healing process.

Initially, the world seemed to crumble down and it felt like nothing could go right. But I am still alive and therefore, I believe there must be some goodness that ALLAH wishes for me to enjoy. And so I chose to live (and love) again.

Eventhough we no longer communicate as much as we want to at the present moment, he will always hold this extremely special place in my heart but maybe we are much better off being with other people. I felt guilty at first whenever I was with someone else. Guilty because I kept comparing everyone else to be like him but that was not fair. No one person is the same. However, pain and heart ache aside, I am grateful that it happened and ended the way it did. It made me stronger and strengthened my belief and priorities. Maybe it is true - everything happens for a reason.

Seperti pepatah Melayu, tepuk dada tanyalah selera. The ups and downs (of life and of relationships) are expected but I am learning not to let that be the reason for me not to be with another person. Just because a love was lost, it does not mean that I can never love or be loved by someone else.

Jadi tepuklah dada anda dan apakah katanya? Sudahkah anda bersedia untuk bercinta dan dicintai? (Cheh bah! Steadylah, Liz berfalsafah dalam bahasa Melayu).


marylamb said...

you noe,i agree with you. The only way to mend a broken heart is by loving again; giving love and receiving it.And it is unfair to compare our dates with our ex, coz we are all different individuals.I wld really hate to be compared to the guy's ex-gf..*smiles*

Sometimes,we wait too long for a perfect moment to ask someone to be our other half..and thus,nt realising that we are wasting precious time thinking and not acting abt it. No one can be certain that so and so will be our life partner..all one can do is give it a together to make the relationship work, pray to God that it will be our everlasting love..

but then again..ntahlah eh..matters of the heart are always complicated. *sigh*

Amby_OFFsPrinG said...

Lizzie to marylamb - i have found so many perfect moments, mar. but i am so afraid that if i act upon it, i will lose him forever. i don't think i can handle that. but then, if i dun let him know, hw many more guessing games must there be rite? ntah lah, tawakkal ajer lah...hope for the best...may ALLAH bukakan sikit mata dan hati nyer...insya allah

pening kepala makcik pikirkan ni semua...hehehe

marylamb said...

hehe..i totally understand..its like pepatah melayu (hah kan! cikgu melayu da bebual..) ditelan mati mak, diludah mati bapa. *tsk tsk tsk*

Anonymous said...

it is not rite to be wif someone else(after a break up) when the other is not ready...its so takes time for a wounded heart to be healed
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them..ok liza?
ultraviolet suckz..thanks to u, i tink u shld compensate me :)