Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Expectations so high

Sometimes we expect too much from someone or a certain situation that we get blinded by those expectations. We fail to see the worst case scenarios that could take place. We will only feel pleasure. Pleased that NOTHING could happen. Things couldn't get worse. It could only get better. Thus, we continue to raise our expectations sky high to the point of complacency. Complacent that yes, NOTHING could go wrong. Yes, he will love me for who I truly am. Yes, he will be good to me despite everything. Yes, he could be Da One. Yes, I will accept him eventhough we may lead such contrasting lifestyles. Yes, he will respect me eventhough I was not exactly the nicest female. Yes, he will continue to call and report every single thing that he's doing (or will be doing) eventhough I hate that like hell. Yes, everything will go smoothly and according to plan. Yes, yes, yes.

But good things does come to an end.

I should have known. I'm a "champion" at this game. I've lost so many times. I should be immune to the hurt.Why didn't I learn from my mistakes? Why didn't I see this coming? I should have known. I should have. But I chose to ignore it. I chose to raise my expectations so darn high with each time we communicated.

Was it something I did or didn't do? Was it something I said or didn't say? At times like this, I wish I can be prescribed a new life. A life of no blunders, of perfection where you get everything you wish for. Is there such a life? Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. But for now, I shall make full use of this life, MY life. Spend as much time I can doing what I want with people I cherish and treasure. Working hard to make my dreams come true.

And no, I am not immune to the hurt. No, I can still feel the pain and no, he has not called since then.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

everyone's seems to be feeling down. me too. i have my own probz. hey lizzie, i've gone thru the things u're going thru. i've had BAD experiences with ppl who promised the world to me. yup, even after so many jilted times, i still did not learn my lesson and play with fire again, without even noticing the smoke. tsk tsk tsk..just be patient. u gotta be strong k. niwei, u still young. pape, just gimme a holler, im always behind u. even at work hahaha