I am thankful for the ability to feel the cool breeze when I went jogging this morning,
I am thankful for the opportunity to still be able to spend time with Mak,
I am thankful for being strong enough to stand on the MRT because there is just no more seats left,
I am thankful for being healthy eventhough I may not have an hourglass figure,
I am thankful for being able to watch VCDs despite hating some people for not being bale to accompany me on my sometimes lonely weekends,
I am thankful for the my whole family despite all the differences we may encounter,
I am thankful for ALLAH has given me life and is continuing to do so, which in turn enables me to appreciate the world,
Lastly, I am thankful for ALLAH has given me the opportunity to meet Selwyn and know that despite the horrid events happening in the world, there is a kind soul who just makes it all better.
Recover soon, Selwyn. We may be of different faith but I am still praying for you. You are always in our minds and hearts. Get well soon because we miss everything about you. Everything. Fight it, Sel. Fight this war like you've never fought before. You ARE strong and we know YOU WILL MAKE IT!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Please, let this be a joke.
I could not sleep the whole night. Selwyn popped in my mind the moment I woke up till the time I was in the hospital to visit him. Walking through the ICU ward brings back horrible memories of what my family went through a few years back. Back then, I told myself that I do not ever want to step foot in that wretched place no more. But there I was again. This time another loved one - a very good friend of mine. I was not prepared for what was to come. I thought I was strong but I broke down again when I stood outside Sel's cubicle. It was too much! I couldn't bear to see dear old Sel helpless there with all that stupid stuff around him. I couldn't take it!
It's not fair! It shouldn't be Sel. It's someone else. But I took a deep breath and went into his cubicle anyways. I broke down again. I broke down each time I tried to speak.
The moment I looked at his face, all the images of him pulling his signature spastic look and all the crazy antics he would pull came to my mind. It was like I wasn't looking at him but at someone I don't even recognise.
Someone, please tell mee this is a joke. I don't mind being laughed at. Laugh at me all you want but please let this be a joke and not reality. Please
It's not fair! It shouldn't be Sel. It's someone else. But I took a deep breath and went into his cubicle anyways. I broke down again. I broke down each time I tried to speak.
The moment I looked at his face, all the images of him pulling his signature spastic look and all the crazy antics he would pull came to my mind. It was like I wasn't looking at him but at someone I don't even recognise.
Someone, please tell mee this is a joke. I don't mind being laughed at. Laugh at me all you want but please let this be a joke and not reality. Please
Friday, September 23, 2005
I want this to be a joke!!
1 missed call from Tze Lin, 1 message received from Nelson. The news - Selwyn is admitted to TTSH for viral infection brain. It's not the normal ward but in NICU. I was hoping for Nel to send another message saying that this was all a joke. But knowing him, Nelson would not joke about such things. Sad but true. Selwyn is admitted. I wanted to visit but found out he's in a coma. I broke down right there and then. I could not take it.
WHAT!? Admitted to NICU and in coma???!!! This is rubbish! Selwyn is too young for all this. It can't be! It made me even more depressed when I thought of all the memories we had during poly. The whole group would just skip lectures and chill our way through poly. That was the life - not this.
Please ALLAH, let this be a joke.
WHAT!? Admitted to NICU and in coma???!!! This is rubbish! Selwyn is too young for all this. It can't be! It made me even more depressed when I thought of all the memories we had during poly. The whole group would just skip lectures and chill our way through poly. That was the life - not this.
Please ALLAH, let this be a joke.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Justice prevails
Syukur alhamdullillah. I know now that there IS justice in this somewhat wretched world. Recently, 3 bloggers were charged for writing racist posts and one of them was the M7.
For those of you who don't know who M7 is, I spotted his blog from another link. (please refer to my August archive titled When u speak, all I hear is BLA BLA BLA) M7 boldly expresses his dislike for the Malay-Muslim community. Apparently, he had a bad experience with a Malay/Muslim during his childhood and since then, he bore this immense hatred towards Malay/Muslims. I was aboslutely appaled at the first sight of his entries. To make it worse, there were not just one entry but more than 3. I was tempted to just leave comments and give this guy a piece of my mind but I did not. Thank ALLAH for that. There is no need to do that anymore because he has been charged in court already alongside 2 other bloggers.
Anyways, M7 turned out to be a 17 year-old hormone-raging lad who goes to a private school.
It's sad really. To date, there have been 4 bloggers charged with writing posts had a form of racism on it. And all these people are well-educated. They have to be. To be able to set up a blog. One has to be educated. Maybe not a genius but at least has some form of formal education to be exposed to such technology.
Maybe the young Singaporeans take for the granted the peace we have now because they did not get to feel the tension and emotions that went through in the early days in racist attacks such as the Maria Hertogh incident back in the 1940s. The number of people who died and injured were enormous. I'm not preaching but there are many reasons for me to hate any particular race or religion in my own homeland but what's the point. Why must I stoop to their level? I'm an educator. How can I give such negative vibes to my students? Masya ALLAH.
For those of you who don't know who M7 is, I spotted his blog from another link. (please refer to my August archive titled When u speak, all I hear is BLA BLA BLA) M7 boldly expresses his dislike for the Malay-Muslim community. Apparently, he had a bad experience with a Malay/Muslim during his childhood and since then, he bore this immense hatred towards Malay/Muslims. I was aboslutely appaled at the first sight of his entries. To make it worse, there were not just one entry but more than 3. I was tempted to just leave comments and give this guy a piece of my mind but I did not. Thank ALLAH for that. There is no need to do that anymore because he has been charged in court already alongside 2 other bloggers.
Anyways, M7 turned out to be a 17 year-old hormone-raging lad who goes to a private school.
It's sad really. To date, there have been 4 bloggers charged with writing posts had a form of racism on it. And all these people are well-educated. They have to be. To be able to set up a blog. One has to be educated. Maybe not a genius but at least has some form of formal education to be exposed to such technology.
Maybe the young Singaporeans take for the granted the peace we have now because they did not get to feel the tension and emotions that went through in the early days in racist attacks such as the Maria Hertogh incident back in the 1940s. The number of people who died and injured were enormous. I'm not preaching but there are many reasons for me to hate any particular race or religion in my own homeland but what's the point. Why must I stoop to their level? I'm an educator. How can I give such negative vibes to my students? Masya ALLAH.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Holy matrimony
When two souls joined together in a holy matrimony, everything looks blissfully beautiful. Everyone is happy and we have a textbook ending - somewhat.
However, the monsters that is in SOME of us emerge when situations turn ugly and the once-blissfully married couple starts fighting and the "D" word is the only solution for the dispute. People always tell me that marriage is not all well and happy as what you see in movies. There is more to it than that. I feared being married. Then there is another batch of people who told me that yes, marriage is no easy task - but it can be beautiful if the COUPLE joined hand in hand to solve any problem they might encounter. That's what marriage is all about right? Joining hand in hand as husband and wife sailing through the sea of life. So what if you have to split 50-50 for the household expenses. You stay in the same house, eat the same food, sleep on the same bed. Why not 50-50? I may be single, you say but that does not mean I don't think. I have to admit that I may not be an expert when it comes to matters of the heart but I am not afraid to learn. (What's there to lose when you ask for help? NOTHING!)
I pray that when I do get married, my life partner and I will always be together forever - come what may. Just like Mak and Bapa. My parents raised us TOGETHER despite all the times when their ship of marriage rocked so hard that they thought it was going to crash. But they pulled themselves together and held each other close till now - with us, their children. Alhamdullillah.
Thank ALLAH for guiding us to the right path of Islam and granting us patience.
However, the monsters that is in SOME of us emerge when situations turn ugly and the once-blissfully married couple starts fighting and the "D" word is the only solution for the dispute. People always tell me that marriage is not all well and happy as what you see in movies. There is more to it than that. I feared being married. Then there is another batch of people who told me that yes, marriage is no easy task - but it can be beautiful if the COUPLE joined hand in hand to solve any problem they might encounter. That's what marriage is all about right? Joining hand in hand as husband and wife sailing through the sea of life. So what if you have to split 50-50 for the household expenses. You stay in the same house, eat the same food, sleep on the same bed. Why not 50-50? I may be single, you say but that does not mean I don't think. I have to admit that I may not be an expert when it comes to matters of the heart but I am not afraid to learn. (What's there to lose when you ask for help? NOTHING!)
I pray that when I do get married, my life partner and I will always be together forever - come what may. Just like Mak and Bapa. My parents raised us TOGETHER despite all the times when their ship of marriage rocked so hard that they thought it was going to crash. But they pulled themselves together and held each other close till now - with us, their children. Alhamdullillah.
Thank ALLAH for guiding us to the right path of Islam and granting us patience.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Katrina oh Katrina..
War is never a pretty thing. Violence should never be used to stop violence.
I simply cried inside when I heard that the American troops were getting ready to go to the Middle East. How frightening it must be for both parties to know that strangers will be entering your country complete with bombs and weapons in the suitcases. How frustrating and sad it must be to know your son, brother or father has to be a million miles away fighting a worthless war.
Upon hearing about the preparations of the US troops, I told myself, Whoever it was that initiated this war will receive his retribution. That retribution will not be caused by human being but by nature. When nature is the cause of a destruction, no parties will be blamed as no one has the control over nature except ALLAH.
True enough, hurricane Katrina striked and the world awaits for the rescue efforts which came yonks after the disaster. I hope that people of New Orleans will stay strong and to never stop praying.
ALLAH is great and He will reward or punishes anyone He wishes and He is just.
I simply cried inside when I heard that the American troops were getting ready to go to the Middle East. How frightening it must be for both parties to know that strangers will be entering your country complete with bombs and weapons in the suitcases. How frustrating and sad it must be to know your son, brother or father has to be a million miles away fighting a worthless war.
Upon hearing about the preparations of the US troops, I told myself, Whoever it was that initiated this war will receive his retribution. That retribution will not be caused by human being but by nature. When nature is the cause of a destruction, no parties will be blamed as no one has the control over nature except ALLAH.
True enough, hurricane Katrina striked and the world awaits for the rescue efforts which came yonks after the disaster. I hope that people of New Orleans will stay strong and to never stop praying.
ALLAH is great and He will reward or punishes anyone He wishes and He is just.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I JUST FEEL LIKE SHOUTING AT SOMEONE! PUNCH HER IN THE FACE! KICK HER TWO SAGGING BREASTS! AND WISH SHE WOULD JUST DISAPPEAR FROM THE FACE OF THIS EARTH! I HATE EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY YOU!
I CAN'T STAND ALL THIS SHIT!! i'M SICK OF THIS!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN'T STAND ALL THIS SHIT!! i'M SICK OF THIS!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, September 12, 2005
Fly Hilary Fly
Okay, I would like to make a confession. You can call me whatever you want but the truth is....I am a fan of HILARY DUFF! Muahahahahahahaha...Yes, yes I'm a groupie, so what?!?! I think she has fantastic fashion sense. She looks great. However, she does look like my age eventhough she 's only 18 or probably like 19 now. But anyways, she's young. Okay, so there...
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Paris Hilton - the next Britney?
Paris Hilton will have a single out in November?!?!?! Oh gosh, there goes the music business.
VMAs 2005
The VMAs this year was hosted by the party man himself - Diddy. (Is that what he calls himself now??)
I am dead happy that Green Day took home 7 out of 8 moonman. WOO HOO!! How exciting is that! They were silent for the longest time and when they came back, they made a killer album and snatched up all the moonman. Greatness! Rock on! They make fantastic music. I was a fan of theirs since secondary school and still is.
Kelly Clarkson was horrid. You should have seen her performance. She was trying so hard to be a rock chick that she lost the quality of good singing. She was practically shouting her arse off. I felt so sympathetic for her. I wish (on her behalf) that her performance would end soon. You could almost feel her pain to just have to strain her vocal chords. It was horrid!
Chris Rock is now in the music business? That's new. Let's see how long that will last. He's probably J.Lo with a ahem ahem. (a four-letter word that start with "D") Go figure.
As with all Diddy's party, there will certainly be the after party. The madness there was not shown of course. Oh well, that's the life of the rich and famous.
I am dead happy that Green Day took home 7 out of 8 moonman. WOO HOO!! How exciting is that! They were silent for the longest time and when they came back, they made a killer album and snatched up all the moonman. Greatness! Rock on! They make fantastic music. I was a fan of theirs since secondary school and still is.
Kelly Clarkson was horrid. You should have seen her performance. She was trying so hard to be a rock chick that she lost the quality of good singing. She was practically shouting her arse off. I felt so sympathetic for her. I wish (on her behalf) that her performance would end soon. You could almost feel her pain to just have to strain her vocal chords. It was horrid!
Chris Rock is now in the music business? That's new. Let's see how long that will last. He's probably J.Lo with a ahem ahem. (a four-letter word that start with "D") Go figure.
As with all Diddy's party, there will certainly be the after party. The madness there was not shown of course. Oh well, that's the life of the rich and famous.
Friday, September 9, 2005
I CONQUERED my fear!
I went for it! I am so glad I did. I finally realised how silly I was. I thought everyone would laugh at me when they see someone like me going for the such an interview. But when I got there, I felt relieved and confident and just plain happy!
Alhamdullillah. Thank you ALLAH for giving me the confidence. Thank you Mak for accompanying me eventhough the idea of me migrating to another country is too painful for you.
Eventhough I did not get the position because I was late, (Bleurgh!) but I will take this as an opportunity to prepare myself for the next round of interview.
I SHALL CONQUER....my fear!
Alhamdullillah. Thank you ALLAH for giving me the confidence. Thank you Mak for accompanying me eventhough the idea of me migrating to another country is too painful for you.
Eventhough I did not get the position because I was late, (Bleurgh!) but I will take this as an opportunity to prepare myself for the next round of interview.
I SHALL CONQUER....my fear!
Tuesday, September 6, 2005
Move!
You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what? This is a part of your character and charm.
You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.
You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!
Immediately after I publishd my previous melancholic post, I did this test which I obtained from Kak Maddy's blog. I don't know about you but I find that almost all of it is really accurate about my curent state as well as my personality as a whole. Shesh! Is this like a sign? Anyways, try this Mood Analysis Test
You are a leader in every sense of the word. You know where you are going and you know what you need to do in order to get there. You exercise an inherent initiative in overcoming obstacles and difficulties. You either hold, or wish to achieve, a position of authority by means of which full control can be exerted over events.
You are a rather inhibited sort of person. This could be the result of your upbringing or of your schooling, whatever. You are able to obtain satisfaction from various forms of physical or emotional activity but all in all you are inclined to be emotionally withdrawn. As a consequence of this you find it difficult to sustain any deep involvement.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!
Immediately after I publishd my previous melancholic post, I did this test which I obtained from Kak Maddy's blog. I don't know about you but I find that almost all of it is really accurate about my curent state as well as my personality as a whole. Shesh! Is this like a sign? Anyways, try this Mood Analysis Test
Crossroads...again
All I want is to be working on a career that I am passionate about and that pays well. Is that so much to ask for? I am at it again. It used to be between two careers of contrasting backgrounds. Now it is between two careers of the same field but VERY contrasting pay. ARGH!!!!
My head is throbbing like mad. I want it so bad but I can't have it. I used to always wish that my family was rich. If that was so, then it wouldn't matter how much my job is paying me. All I need to worry about is finding a job that I am passionate about. ARGH!!!!! Decisions, decisions..... I do not want to let this opportunity go as I consider it to be something which I have always wanted. ARGH! I will have to let it go, I guess.
Subahanallah. Why was I ever so ungrateful? Astaghfirullah. This is one of the many hurdles of life. I will get through it. Silly me! I got so upset over such trivial matters and even to the point of being ungrateful. Stop it, Lizzie. Grow up already. You are not a child anymore, girl. You are an adult. Okay, okay. I shall stop being silly. Enough, Lizzie, enough of all this nonsense.
My head is throbbing like mad. I want it so bad but I can't have it. I used to always wish that my family was rich. If that was so, then it wouldn't matter how much my job is paying me. All I need to worry about is finding a job that I am passionate about. ARGH!!!!! Decisions, decisions..... I do not want to let this opportunity go as I consider it to be something which I have always wanted. ARGH! I will have to let it go, I guess.
Subahanallah. Why was I ever so ungrateful? Astaghfirullah. This is one of the many hurdles of life. I will get through it. Silly me! I got so upset over such trivial matters and even to the point of being ungrateful. Stop it, Lizzie. Grow up already. You are not a child anymore, girl. You are an adult. Okay, okay. I shall stop being silly. Enough, Lizzie, enough of all this nonsense.
Sunday, September 4, 2005
2 weddings and a....lot of pictures
I actually did not want to sit down but the photographer asked me to. ARGH! Anyways, pick the odd one out. :P
Once Normah went down from her apartment to the reception held at the void deck of her HDB flat, (typical Malay wedding.) Aiza, Fizah and moi quickly went up to her and DEMANDED for our pictures to be taken with the bride IMMEDIATELY! Muahahahahahahahaha......
Okay, this was when Normah's husband came over to Bedok and everyone started to request for their pictures to be taken with the bride and bridegroom. We are definitely not going to miss out on the opportunity. But look! My selendang almost fell off! ARGH! Darn! Oh well....
Once Normah went down from her apartment to the reception held at the void deck of her HDB flat, (typical Malay wedding.) Aiza, Fizah and moi quickly went up to her and DEMANDED for our pictures to be taken with the bride IMMEDIATELY! Muahahahahahahahaha......
Okay, this was when Normah's husband came over to Bedok and everyone started to request for their pictures to be taken with the bride and bridegroom. We are definitely not going to miss out on the opportunity. But look! My selendang almost fell off! ARGH! Darn! Oh well....
After attending Normah's big day, being the faithful and amazing friend that I am (hehehehe) I accompanied Fizah to her boyfriend's twin sister's wedding. It was a little weird going there considering that I do not know anyone but what the heck. I was just doing Fizah a favour. Anyways, I actually wanted to take pictures of that second couple. Unfortunately, when we got there, they had already left for the guy's side. So I decided to just snap pictures of.....myself. Muakakakakaka...How vain is that! A much better choice, I must say.
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Eve of Normah's wedding
One of my two friends got married today. She was beautiful. I got to know Normah during my part-time class at KinderWorld doing Diploma in Early Childhood Education. She was the sort who never wore make-up but today she was all dolled up and she looked beautiful.
Normah all dressed up on her big day
This was when her husband inserted...(what were you thinking?hehehehe) the ring into her finger. Oh gosh! Another friend of mine is married!
The husband was a little bit shy when it came to this part. Hey dude, it's alright. Dah halal dah mat. You can even do more than that.
I was at one corner, on tiptoes and trying so hard to just get good view of the wedding. But it would not be complete without taking pictures of my freinds and also, yours truly? Hehehehehehe
It would not be fun going to a wedding without taking pictures with the bride, right? So there you go. The 3 musketeers and the princess. Shoot! The bride has her eyes closed. Maybe she was too tired after all the preparations.
The food was great. After eating, we just had to take a picture. Aiza's sister helped take this picture of Fizah, Aiza and moi. Hehehehe...Loved the orchid!
And of course, to top it all off, moi. Hehehehehehehe...I'm lovin' it! Call me whatever but I always have this thing about putting flowers on my head like that. Trying to get that Hawaiian feeling, maybe?
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