Cold-hearted mammal

People can just change from being the most understanding and caring boss to one heck of a pain in the arse. I submitted my resignation letter yonks ago (okay, I'm exaggerating. It was just a few weeks ago.). Maybe I was just paranoid but I noticed that my boss started to act a little cold around me. Just yesterday, I requested for a full day leave (For the record, whatever form of leave I take will be considered as unpaid leave, as per the contract. WHATEVER!) I understand that it was rather last minute but seriously, I know it will not pose as a problem if they were having parents coming in for trials. ( That's how it is when parents would like to witness the way the teachers conduct the lessons before they officially sign up their children) But the SMS reply I received yesterday night was that I will not be able to take up the leave because they will be having parents coming in. I simply had to take that leave because I had been putting off doing my practicum folder since last week and I (supposedly, before I convince the administration personnel to extend the deadline. Hehehe) had to hand it in by today (which obviously didn't happen). So I decided to just take half day off. Right now, there are two things that's really infuriating :-

1) There was absolutely no parent that came on for trail today. None. Zilch.
2) He did not even bother replying my second SMS where I asked him if I could actually take half day off. Bloody hell. He just played dead. (He might as well be. ARGH! Evil thoughts. Stop it, Liz)

He's not happy with my decision to leave the centre? I understand that but why the cold, unprofeesional way of showing it? F**K, life goes on. Yeah, it is definitely not easy to get a good replacement but that does not mean that it's impossible. Shit happens. Get over it and get on with life already. Why harbour all the hatred? Forgive.

Our Little Secret, okay?

The most heart-warming thing happened today. One of my students told me early in the morning that she had something to tell me - in private. As we were having lesson, (yes, pre-schoolers are like that. They can just blurt out the most irrelevant issue during lesson.) I replied that she can do so after naptime, which she did.

We were doing some art and craft when she reminded me about the "little secret" that she wanted to share with me. So we went to another room, where there were no one and that's when she told me all about it. This was how the conversation went.

Student (S): Teacher Khaliza, I have a boyfriend , you know.
Teacher Khaliza (TK): Wow! Where is he now?
S: He's in Hong Kong.
TK: Wow! That's great. How old is he?
S: I cannot remember lei. But I like him a lot. He got hold my hand before, you know. He very nice to play one.
TK: (laughs) I am extremely glad to hear that. I am happy for you. He doesn't bully you like the other boys, right?
S: No lei. He very nice one. I like him lei.
TK: Do you call him on the phone?
S: No. I very happy lei.
TK: Okay, I am very glad that you shared that with me. I need to go do something now. Why don't you go back to class, okay?
S: OKAY! Lalalalalala

She breathed a sigh of relief and was "lala-ing" away. It was like she was so glad to let this "burden" off her chest. She really trusted me with that little secret of hers. I felt fantastic after that. Call me emotional, traditional whatever. But moments like this are the reasons why I believe that working with children was what I was made to do on this Earth.

Thank ALLAH for this blessing that YOU have bestowed upon me. I shall make the best of this opportunity eventhough there are things about this profession that I don't quite fancy.

Anons

I wish I know who made all the Anonymous comments. I really do appreciate them. I also wish I know who they are. It's always better to know who really appreciate you for who you are because you know that those comments, good or bad, are done out of love and goodwill. Thanks y'all, whoever you are.

The guys' best friend

I went online after coming back from Abang' place. I met Haizam, Helmi, Raihan and Jid (Farid's brother). They were discussing about a blog entry of a certain friend of ours, which was really making them frustrated. As for me, I was browsing through Haizam's list of friends in FRIENDSTER when I came upon a familiar name. She was an ex-schoolmate of mine, just like the guys. I visited her profile and boy was I shocked.

I could not believe that that was her. NAILA! She is just so different now. Horny nurse? Shesh! Wow! I was just lost for words. I couldn't believe it. That couldn't be her. Her dad is so pious. That couldn't be her. It was impossible but it was true.

Naila was always the pretty and cool one, you know. Even back in secondary school. Remember Imran, my ex-crush? Hahahahaha...They were together for the longest time. I guess I sort of expected her to be that hot but I was still shocked.

That got me thinking. I bet Naila turn heads wherever she walks. No doubt about that. I can never be like that, you know. I mean I'm a woman after all and I love being beautiful and the centre of attention. But what kind of attention do I want from the opposite gender? Do I want them to look at me and go "Heck, that chick's hot. Man, wonder if she's good in bed?" or "Damn!Wish I could spank that ass!" or "That girl's cute." or "Stuck-up biatch." or "This girl's cool. I can really be myself with her." Wish I'm all of that. Hahahahaha...But I guess by nature, I am more of the type of girl whom the guys see as a good friend initially and then as they progress and get to know me better, they will think "Hey, Liza's a little different, isn't she?" I get that a lot. I don't turn heads wherever I walk or have guys fall heads over heels in love with me at first sight. I am the sort of girl whom you have to get to know to finally see her...beauty. d;) Good nitez and sleep tight, jolly people of the world!

My baby niece, Athirah

Athirah (my little baby niece) was crying non-stop today. I really have no idea why this was so. She came over to my house and started crying and continued even when they got to Kakak's house. It was heart-wrenching to hear her cry like that. I really wished I could do something about what was bothering that little niece of mine. I prayed that whatever it was that was bothering her would just go away. All of us said our prayers. It was so tense.

I called Abang a few minutes ago to check on her condition. She's feeling much better now. Alhamdullillah. Hopefully, she sleeps well tonight. Good night, my little shweet niece. Auntie Liza loves you soooo much. Muahkz

Inspire me, Inspire you

It was actually a blessing in disguise that I decided to go for my tuition yesterday night. It was a pretty unusual session with the kids as well as the mother. I like Kak Atinah. She is so friendly. On top of that, she is soft-spoken, understanding and very motherly even to me. I always feel at ease whenever I stepped into the house to teach tuition. It makes carrying out the job a lot easier. Anyways, That's not what I want to blog about.

10 minutes into the session, Kak Atinah came up to me and asked if it would be alright if she added another child to the group - making it 3 children altogether (is this story sum?). Alhamdullillah. I was hoping for extra cash since I was playing with the idea of getting my own digicam real soon. So that intention of hers was ALLAH's way of answering to my prayer. That was the first blessing.

Second. The girl who whom Kak Atinah wanted to add into the group gave her a story sum which the little had trouble solving. Kak Atinah posted the story sum to me because she herself was having difficulties solving it. I was a little reluctant to do it at first and decided to just give up. I was tired from a hard day's work and I really don't feel like thinking too hard (HORRIBLE!) While I was trying to solve the problem, Shahirah (Kak Atinah's daughter and my tuition student) were talking to each other about how the little girl would like to go and further her studies to university and all. I have to confess that I took a long while to solve the problem. Silently, I asked ALLAH for help. O ALLAH, please enlighten me on the method I can use to solve this story sum. Verily there is no one who can help me but YOU. 2 minutes later, guess what. I SOLVED IT! I was dead happy. Alhamdullillah. Thank ALLAH for that. Upon seeing that, Kak Atinah told her daughter to be just like me - never give up and keep on trying. She said that the result of never giving up was success and then she took my mini-battle with the problem sum as an example. I felt satisfied and inspired. I felt happy that a mother would want to take me to be the example for her daughter. With my simplicity and all, I can still be an inspiration to some one else - hopefully. Kak Atinah's comments really made my day (or night). Thank you ALLAH for blessing with such greatness in times of stress. These are the little things in life that we can fail to appreciate if we just pass the days by without reflecting. Thank ALLAH for the creation of blogs.

SHOUT! SHOUT! LET IT ALL OUT!

ARGH! I am so annoyed with this boy in my class. I call him PENISBOY (Why? Because he always seem to have problems with his penis) Anyways, he has this attitude problem. He absolutely adores throwing tantrums to get his way around. Me being the hard-headed, evil educator that I am, I do not like to do things HIS way. I do not want him to think that he can get whatever he wants just by throwing a tantrum. So I would always, always shout and shout and shout at him and at every other student in my class. He can just spoil the whole damn day. Do you know how tiring it is when you have this bunch of preschoolers "attacking" you all at once and this PENISBOY stamping his feet because his friend ACCIDENTALLY brushed against him? ARGH!

I am becoming exactly like what I do not want to be. Before I became a teacher, I always made a promise to myself that I will not be like 90% of the teachers I encountered in my whole lifetime. Monotonous, always shouting, boring and extremely fierce and strict. I love the kids sooooo much but ARGH! I am just so darn impatient! I need to control my anger.

I have to change. I have to! I MUST!

I shall do less shouting from tomorrow onwards. If by any chance, PENISBOY throws another one of his tantrums ( which I am VERY sure he will), I will divert my attention to the other kids first and let him settle down before I tackle the situation with him. Stay calm, Liz. Let him know, you care.

And the love lives on...

Last Sunday, my ex-schoolmate got engaged to his long-time girlfriend. FARID! Congrats, dude! ARGH! I was not able to attend the function because had some stuff to complete. Fortunately for me, Helmi passed on some pictures taken on that day. You're the best, Helmi!

Here goes....

The boys...The good-looking ones are my ex-classmates while the balance are not. Hahahahahahaha....Boys will be boys. The one with the dreadlocks is the groom's brother. He is only 20 years old but he looks like 6 years older.Hahahahahahaha..Can't believe he had dreadlocks. He does not resemble his brother AT ALL. The one on the RASTABOY's left is Imran - my old crush. I used to be head over heels for him (The key word is "...used to"). The guys said he was gone for a bit. I guess now he's back. Welcome back! The Used-to-be Virgin Haizam is now happily attached and happily hiding his face behind some guy - showing only his fingerS. The one with the pink cap is the person who made this entry possible. Mr Deathstar himself - HELMI! Your beau and you are totally compatible. You guys are made for each other. Happy for you! d;)


You should know which one is the bride. The girls are mostly the guy's girlfriends. None of my ex-girl classmates turned up, Sob! Sob!


The boys and their girlfriends. Awwwwww....Happy ending.

All the best to you, Farid. Semoga jodoh kalian berkekal hingga ke jinjang pelamin dan terus hingga ke anak cucu. Semoga ALLAH swt selalu merahmati kalian sekeluarga.

By the way, ikat berapa tahun ah??

Vocabulary 1 - Camaraderie

Camaraderie
Part of Speech
noun
Definition
friendship
Synonyms
brotherhood, brotherliness, cheer, companionability, companionship, comradeship, conviviality, fellowship, fraternization, good-fellowship, gregariousness, intimacy, jollity, sociability, togetherness

Okay, I am just trying to enhance my vocabulary. It was yonks ago since I last read novels and my vocabulary has been absolutely gone from bad to worst. Singlish was all that was coming out of my mouth. Some of my kids were using much more bombastic words than moi. Embarrassing!

My hi5 account lives again

What a way to reactivate my hi5 account. I got an email from hi5 about a message some guy sent me. Guess what he wrote ( or typed more like it.)

Message:

Hi there

i have to say u really look sweet.. i know it sounds lame. i hope to know u in person. so.. contact me soon!

Hahahahahahaha...And you should see my pic that I put up. I look damn stoink, as always. Hahahahahaha...I just cannot stop laughing. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and all. But it's just that....hahahahahahaha...okay, get a grip Liz.......hahahahahahaha....the guy is cute, I mean not physically. (By the way, he's got pleasant looks and he's YOUNGER.) The whole message is cute. Hahahahahahahaha....Bloody hell, get a grip of yourself Khaliza...

Anyways, lame or not, that guy made my day. It's always great to receive compliments, isn't it? It's not like I get it everyday. Shesh.

Moreover, he's younger. It's defintely not my preference but if it's fate, then I will just accept it. (Not fated to be with that guy, just younger guys in general. DUH!)

Oh ALLAH, let my life partner be someone who is slightly older than me (max. 10 years :) ) and is mature enough to guide our family to the right path of Islam and will take good care of me and my family.

Nonetheless, however young or old he may be, I will accept him willingly because YOU know things that are hidden from me. Amin.

After all this time....

Syukur alhamdullillah. I have finally able to edit my template to the way I want it to be. ALL BY MYSELF! It's a case of trial and error. Hahahahahaha... I Love my (blog)skin just the way it is.

A good friend of mine pointed out earlier when I was on the phone with her that my (blog)skin seemed a little melancholic. Hahahahahaha...She means no harm and I know that. Well, I think that this new (blog)skin of mine has a rather calming effect (on me at least). The previous ones were mostly too in-your-face. I mean I love colours, that's for sure. However, what attracted me to this (blog)skin was the serenity. I have always associated orange with the sunset. It is not too emo because of the surfer.

When I look at my (blog)skin, I perceive myself resting and enjoying the sunset after a hard day's work. Reflecting on the day's happening is how I intend to end my day - everyday.

Aaaahhhhhhhhh.......Bliss - pure bliss.

Thank you, ALLAH for showing me the right way to do the edition.
I'm happy. d;)

My thoughts on a wet, wet Monday...

• I am on "MEDICAL LEAVE" today. Hehehehe...
• I really have to complete my practicum folder. There are a gazillion things that needs to be done. The observations, the journal entries, the pictures to be taken. ARGH! Okay, take a deep breath and coooool. I need to prioritize. I must finish the content of at least one corner by today and half of the second corner. I CAN DO IT!
• I wish I can just go to sleep.
• I hate my digicam. How can it jam on me yesterday? I could have taken a gazillion pictures when I went to Boat Quay yesterday with Yati. Darn! Now I have to answer to Kakak. Well, it's not my fault the damn cam got jammed. Every single time I need to use, the battery failed on me - even after I have fully recharged it. Now I need a new digicam but where can I dig the money from? ARGH! Okay, relax Liz. Deep breaths, girl, deep breaths.
• I should really stop eating. I have lost 4 kilograms in a matter of 3 months! WOO HOO! From 65kg to 61kg! Imagine that! I will maintain the weight loss. Mak always say I'm like a balloon. I can go from having a beautiful waist line to an "all-rounder". Muahahahaha...Mothers, they know best. Adik sayang Mak.
• My time management skills as well as my financial management skills MUST improve. I know my earnings will be more than enough if I just manage it properly. I know it is!
• What a beautiful day! I just love the smell of the air after a rainfall. The fresh smell of flowers, grass just calms you down....for a bit.
• I LOVE MY LIFE! *whistles*

Being Shake LockMan...Hehehe

I stumbled across this blog and the guy looked bloody familiar but just brushed it off my mind. Then the other day, while I was reading through my old magazines, I saw that same face. It truns out he was one of the Eligible Bachelors for 200?. What do you know, an eligible bachelor with brains. What can I say...Hubba hubba! Hahahaha... As good-looking as he is, he does not really appeal to me. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that he's ugly. I mean, who am I to say that, right? He is handsome but not to the point of making me drool. Get what I mean.

He is extremely good with words. Check out his blog and just a gist of the language he uses. Fantastic! It's amazing, isn't it. There are some people who can really express their thoughts clearly with words. I assume it's due to the books one reads or the people one surrounds oneself with.

Anyways, from the few latest entries, I assume he just came back from a backpacking trip in Europe. Nice. I have always thought of backpacking. Actually, I was supposed to be saving up for my backpacking expedition in 2006. Looks like it has to be pushed to ... 2010, maybe?
(Hey, Aza and Ariff, what's up? Have you guys saved enough? Hehehe..)

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=angelsouldevilheart

SMS fight

I was really mad at Abang the past few days for something that happened on Friday. I was late for my school tuition at Peixin Primary School and Dad was not yet back from JB. Fortunately, Abang had finished work and was fetching Mak to his house. She called him up to mention that he needs to send me for my tuition which, he willingly obliged and replied that he would reach at 7pm. My brother being the planner that he is, reached only around 7.05pm. The problem is my pay would be cut off if I was late for the class.

When I mentioned that to him, he scolded me back for not mentioning that to him over the phone and all. Do I really have to mention things like this? Does that mean that it is okay for him to be late if my pay was not at stake? I was pissed. I bombarded him with how he ALWAYS made us wait for 1-1.5 hours every year during Hari Raya (which was true). The whole family would be ready and set to go but we had to wait for the next 1 hour for him to arrive. Then we I mentioned that to him, guess what he said, " Nobody asked us guys to wait.." ARGH!

Then, yesterday morning, he came over to our house. That was when I got a little rude to him. I was just so angry about what he said. Mak was getting ready to go JB with Dad at that time. He grumbled at the mention of the trip to JB. He said that he needs to go NTUC later part of the day. I suggested to just gendong the baby. That was when he said, "Eh bodoh, baby kan masih dalam hari. Maner boleh bawa kluar." That was IT!

When he was going home, I just blurted out, "Brambus suak." I felt pretty bad afterwards so I SMSed him and apologised. That was when we started this SMS fight which is going on at the moment.

I seriously hope that when I get married and have kids, I will be able to take care of my children as how my parents took care of me. They went through extremely rough times taking care of us. They had to sell some of their belongings to get food for us. Infants aren't the easiest to take care of. We gave them a whole lot of problems. But they were able to surpass those times ON THEIR OWN. My grandparents did not help them at all. When the infants cry at night, they rocked us to sleep till dawn. When we needed a bath, they freshened us up despite our small size, which can be quite intimidating for some. I want to be like that. Insya ALLAH. Not to say that I do not need help at all. All I am saying is that I need help but I will still try to make it on my own.

Sighs. I am not sure when and how this SMS fight will end.

Final decision.

I have finally made up my mind. I will go for PPP. Reason being that is so near to home and I can actually take a break during the school holidays. Finally. Alhamdullillah. Insya ALLAH I have made the right decision.

I am planning to cycle to school every morning. Hahaha...That would be fun, wouldn't it? At least, there is still use for my bicycle. It has been idling for centuries now.

I tendered today, after only 2 months at the centre. MY boss was shocked with my decision. He really thought that I would choose to stay. Sorry. My family comes first.

Thanks for the trust and faith in me, though.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.....

I was watching Britney Spears on VH1 (MTV) yesterday. Afterwards, I told myself. The next time I am given an offer to good to miss out, I shall not think too much about it. I can get so emotional trying to be as practical as I can. Doesn't make sense does it? Sighs.

Take for example, right this moment, I have my current job and then I have another job offer which is nearer to home where I can enjoy the school holidays. I am stuck between the both of them. I do not want to leave my current centre because I sort of feel indebted towards my boss. I do wish to take up the current offer because it is so much nearer to home and I can have a break with my loved ones during the school holidays.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.....

Doctor, prescribe me a new life please.

I am so tired. I feel so sick now. You know what I feel like doing. I feel like taking a whole week of break. My room is constantly in a big mess. I have not gotten enough sleep for a really long time now. I am feeling like crap. I have to go for tuition later at 3pm. Tired just farking tired of it all!