To be Achieved

I have a million things that I would like to achieve or do before my time in this "rented home" is up.

I would like to be able to teach in a foreign country. To be able to experience the teaching environment in a country that I can only dream of. To learn the culture and how children from parts of the world grow up and the struggles that they have to undergo. There is so much we can learn from children. Unlike others who think that only adults can teach, I believe that we can also be taught by the younger generation.

I would also like to explore the world. Just travel. Be paid to travel to the different parts of the world. Open my eyes and mind to the beauty that I see only from the Internet,books. To be able to touch,feel and smell.

Penning down my thoughts for all to read and feel the emotions when I write the piece of article is also part of TO ACHIEVE list. You can touch lives with words - whether it's in black and white or verbally.

Eventhough pictures are wordless, one can capture the thoughts as well as the emotions of the person being pictured. Photography interests me as well. It's not just clicking blindly. Anyone Tom,Dick or Harry can do that. I would like to be able to take pictures that will pave a pat6hway leading to the soul of the person being pictured. The pictures are overflowing with so much emotion that when viewed, it makes the person cry with empathy ( for the struggles she/he had to go through) or with joy (for the goodness that has been bestowed upon him/her).

And the list goes on and on..and so does time.

Despite the rush to achieve them, I still would like to be able to embrace the love and laughter of my loved ones.

Live to educate

I have always know of the reality of being a teacher. The hard work, the research of a passionate educator. But only now do I really I know for sure how much work one has to put in in order to give the best to our little customers. It's not an easy job. When I told everyone in my previous that I was going into the education field, their reaction to that was, " Yeah lah, much better what. Less stressful."

Initially, I dare to second that. But now, it's a totally different picture. Shesh! Moreover, the centre that I am currently working at is very new and needs a lot of displays. I have to admit that I'm really stressed out because of that. What's more, I have my practicum to think about. ARGH!

Breathe, Liza, breathe....

I must look at the situation from a different angle. Being the pioneer does require a lot of work and creativity but that allows me to stretch my creativity and thinking skills to the fullest. Rushing for the lesson plans, vertical displays, practicum is very stressful but I believe that it's good because it is actually an opportunity for me to practise my time management skills. I have so many things to do but oh so little time.

Papa don't preach

Dad sent me to the MRT station today (as usual). While we were in the car, he told me to get a job that is not as far as my current one. He told me to ask for a position at a company just beside my previous organiscation. As far as I know, one of my relatives work there and that company is also a semicond ( I think.)

I did not bother arguing with him. It's really no use, I think. He will never get it. I told him that it's teaching that I want. He then asnwered that I should wait for NIE if teaching is what I want. But it is not as simple to confirm a place there. I have tried thousands of times but my "...application is unsuccessful." Same old reply.

I know that he has my interest at heart. This change of occupations has been very challenging for me - financially. I strongly believe that this is what is bothering him. The other day, while we were in the car, my dad gave me $60 because he knew that I was extremely broke for that period of time. I was overwhelmed by his generosity. I just kept my tears in.

Anyways, it was early in the morning and I was really in NO mood to stir up a fight with my dad. So I just let it go. I breathed in and let all the anger out...slowly. I have made the decision and I will stand firm to it. Anyways, I know where my father is coming from. He worries about me eventhough he don't show it. But I have to get through this and make my dream a reality. Insya ALLAH, Bapa. I will make you proud when you see me running my own centre successfully and passing my experience to the future educators.

Just doesn't feel right

There are times when you are certain that the career you are undertaking at the moment is what you have always wanted to do but somehow, something is still amiss. It's like a singer singing the wrong genre of music. It is like making (the late) Kurt Cobain sing R'n'B instead of grunge. It just does not feel right.

Maybe all I need is time. It is all about the kids. Liza, get on with your life and be grateful for what you have.

I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am sure of it.

Teenage Gangsta

Today was one of those rare days where I actually picked up the collection of papers people called NEWPAPERS. It was this one article that caught my attention. An article about two Malay individuals who were once part of bad company but now, have chosen to repent.

I had chills down my spine when I read their stories. The crimes that they committed were not just stealing or some other minor issues. They used to drug traffickers,illegal VCD sellers,gang members who were involved in some killings etc. I thought my teenagehood was bad but there was someone else out there who were even worse off than me.

However, I am glad. Glad that they have chosen to leave their past life and start afresh.

O Allah, Please strengthen our faith so that we will not be influenced by the false hope of the non-believers and the whispers of Satan. For my Muslim brothers and sisters, who have chosen to repent and stop doing the things that You have forbidden, please give them the strength,perseverance, endurance and patience in order to survive the challenges that they will face while on this new mission of theirs.

O Allah, Deepen our love for Islam and show us guidance to the right path of Islam when the non-believers try to shake the foundation that we have already obtained. O Allah, Help us get through the rough times and thank you, O Allah for all the blessings that you have bestowed upon us. Amin.